


Interludes

by thesalmondean



Series: Interludes [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:56:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6572509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesalmondean/pseuds/thesalmondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small, short gap-fillers, to come as the show and my muse inspire me and are inspired, respectively.</p><p>(for episode refreshers, see playlist https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLX7Q2fMuGrOAyBlPtMTF8exhwRM_QGRtd)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Gap-filler for the time between the Robron reunion (April 14, 2016) and the following day (April 15, 2016).  
> Subtle reference to self-harm.

They held each other for some time; Aaron could feel Robert’s light, even breaths as soft puffs against his neck. There was a deep comfort and familiarity in it. Aaron, for his part, simply held on to the other man – tightly – and allowed his body to relax into the slightly taller and sturdier build of Robert. The stress and anxiety of the past…days…weeks…months even, began to melt away as the seconds ticked by loudly on the clock in the fireplace mantel. They may have stood like the for hours – Aaron certainly wanted to – they were pressed up tight against one another, each holding the other up though Aaron was fairly certain Robert was doing more supporting than he was.

Chas's voice, calling out to Marlon in the Pub’s kitchen, startled them both and when Robert’s grip loosened slightly Aaron reflexively pulled away.

“Alright?” Robert asked, his hands still lightly gripping Aaron’s forearms.

Aaron offered a bit of a smile and nod before he stepped back and out of Robert’s reach. He pretended not to see what appeared to be a passing look of hurt flash across Robert’s face.

The noise in the Pub had returned to the usual drone and din of conversational chatter. It was a sound that Aaron hardly noticed anymore, having lived at the pub for so long. The only other sounds in the room were the ticking of the mantelpiece clock, and Aaron and Robert’s breathing. Robert was staring at Aaron intensely, and Aaron could feel the other man’s eyes watching as he popped the top off the whisky bottle and poured more into his glass before arching an eyebrow questioningly at Robert. The other man hadn’t touched the whisky he’d just poured, but he nodded anyway, and so Aaron added a couple more fingers to Robert’s glass.

“Thanks,” Robert replied softly, taking the glass from Aaron when he held it out to him. He almost appeared pained in how he was looking at Aaron and it was both exhilarating and terrifying.

Their fingertips grazed as Aaron passed the glass and for a brief moment Aaron simply wanted to throw the glasses away and drag Robert upstairs. But he pushed away the fleeting desire, knowing both that he wasn’t ready for that, and that if he really wanted to see if something real could exist between he and Robert, they needed to take it slow.

Aaron moved past Robert (closer than he needed, if he were honest, brushing the other man’s shoulder and arm with his own), and settled on the small sofa, cradling his whisky in his hands. A few moments later Robert moved to sit next to him – sitting closer than was really necessary, even with the small size of the piece of furniture.

They sat there together, quietly sipping whisky, their legs not just touching at the knee, but pressed together nearly knee to hip; their shoulders the same. It was comfortable, and comforting. It had been so long since Aaron had allowed himself to miss the feel of Robert near him, and in that moment Aaron very nearly forgot the plethora of emotions the day had brought him.

It wasn’t awkward; it wasn’t strange. The silence between them wasn’t cold, or uncomfortable, or heavy. It was very nearly perfect. The last months had been hell, and Aaron had wanted nothing more than just a few moments when he could just _be_ , and this was one of them. He wanted to just be, and he wanted to just be with Robert beside him.

Whisky glass empty, Aaron leaned forward and set the glass on the coffee table before leaning back and resting his head against the cushions of the couch. He closed his eyes, taking comfort in the feel of Robert next to him, the radiating warmth from the proximity of the other man.

When Robert shifted his weight forward, Aaron opened his eyes to see Robert placing his empty whisky glass on the table next to his. Robert glanced over his shoulder with a cockeyed smile before falling back into the cushion next to Aaron. Their heads were just inches apart as they stared at each other.

“You good?” Robert asked, his hand falling to rest on Aaron’s  knee.

“Yeah,” Aaron answered softly, “good.”

Robert grinned wider and his hand moved up Aaron’s leg just a bit. Aaron didn’t move, in fact Aaron could barely breathe, because all he wanted was for the other man to kiss him again. So he stared at Robert, asking with his eyes and feeling a heated flush rush up his entire body.

Robert seemed to understand and moved his head closer, never breaking eye contact. Then Aaron felt Robert’s breath on his lips before moments later he felt his lips. Their first kiss, earlier, had been hesitant, cautious, more comfort than passion really. This one was different, laced with something desperate, but not frantic; with passion, but not without tenderness.

Robert’s other hand, the one not gripping and massaging Aaron’s leg, cupped Aaron’s face. Robert's long fingers pressed into Aaron's neck, and his thumb stroked Aaron’s cheek.

They were like that for some time, kissing before pausing to look at each other before kissing some more. No further advances were made, and though they wouldn’t necessarily have been rebuffed, Aaron was thankful Robert was heeding his words from earlier.

It was during one of the ‘looking at each other’ moments that Robert pulled his hand away from Aaron’s leg and threaded his fingers with Aaron’s, squeezing his hand tight.

“I can’t believe what you did,” Robert said softly, his other hand falling from Aaron’s face to lay on top of Aaron’s left hand, trapping it between his own.

“You are incredibly brave,” he added.

Aaron, still not quite able to accept endearing compliments, looked away from Robert. Turning his head slightly he leaned his body into Robert's, and let his head fall onto the other man’s shoulder. He stared at their hands, resting half on Robert’s thigh and half on Aaron’s.

Robert’s top hand, the one not actively intertwined with Aaron’s, traveled half-way up Aaron’s left forearm.

“Is this healed,” Robert murmured, his thumb stroking the spot where the scar that remained from Aaron’s near death experience still lived. It was hidden beneath the crisp sleeve of his shirt, but Aaron knew it was there, a faded pink now - a permanent mark of this moment in his life.

Aaron nodded once, and felt Robert press his mouth to his hair.

“Promise me you’ll never do that to yourself again,” he whispered.

“I promise,” Aaron replied, knowing how many times in the past he’d made the same promise to his mum and to Paddy, but also knowing that this time he really meant it. He also made a second promise to himself, to trust those in his life who wanted to help him; his mum, Cain, Adam, even Paddy if he ever got his own stuff worked out…and of course Robert.

Minutes passed as the two men sat together quietly, holding hands, Aaron nestled into Robert’s side. He might have even fell asleep if not for the sudden clanging of the bell in the pub signaling closing time.

The reverie was broken, then, and Aaron reluctantly separated himself from Robert, standing and taking the two empty whisky glasses into the small kitchen.

Robert remained on the sofa, watching, a tiny, teasing smile on his lips.

Aaron was about to ask the other man what was so amusing when his mum came into the back room, carrying the till from the register under one arm, her other hand gripping a wad of receipts.

“Sorry, love,” she said, setting the till and the receipts on the table, the look on her face unreadable as she glanced between Aaron and Robert.

“I should go,” Robert said then, rising from the sofa and offering a sly smile at Aaron before turning to Chas.

“G’night, Chas,” he said, offering one last glance over the shoulder to Aaron before he was out the back door.

Aaron stood against the counter in the kitchen, staring at the back door through which Robert had just left.

“You two seem cozy,” Chas said, but like her expression, Aaron couldn’t quite read her tone either.

“Yeah,” was all he offered, smiling internally at the night’s events, suddenly feeling like perhaps the best in life was yet to come; that perhaps now there was a very real chance for he and Robert. 

A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over Aaron at that moment, and he exhaled loudly before resting his hand on his mum's shoulder.

"Thank you for today," he said, squeezing, "goodnight."

He was halfway across the room before his mum replied, "g'night, love."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Chas's point of view; what happened after the side-hug outside the pub and Chas's cheery smile wishing Robert a good morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In show, covers time between April 15 2016 and April 18, 2016 episodes.

For every moment she wasn’t pulling another pint, she had her eyes on Aaron…and Robert.

They were sitting together at the back of the pub, Robert on one side of Aaron, Adam on the other. Villagers were steadily approaching them, offering what Chas assumed were congratulatory words, or perhaps offering to buy Aaron a drink. Chas couldn’t help but notice the way Robert kept his eyes on Aaron, mostly ignoring the folks who stopped by, or sat down like some of the family did.

Watching them stirred conflicting feelings within Chas. This wasn’t like the last time they'd been involved together, and she knew that; yet she could not remove the knowledge she had that Robert had been partially responsible for Katie’s death, and more importantly had been the very real cause of pain and anguish for her son.

Now though…watching them…she could almost forget. It seemed Aaron had forgotten…or forgiven? She wanted to ask – but it seemed cruel. If Aaron, the one most directly hurt by Robert’s past actions, could forgive and forget than maybe she could too? Did she owe it to her son to try?

“'nother round please, Chas,” Adam appeared before her, blocking her view of her son and his…what? Boyfriend? Lover?

“How is he?” she asked, pulling the first of three pints.

“Aaron?” Adam smiled and glanced over his shoulder, “yeah he’s good. I mean, he’s better than he’s been for months.”

Chas set the first pint on the bar, her eyes moving over Adam’s shoulder to catch the sight of Robert leaning into Aaron and speaking into his ear. When Aaron grinned, Chas’s heart nearly burst.

“He’s okay ya know,” Adam said.

“Robert,” Adam added when Chas looked at him questioningly.

“Yeah,” she responded, the second pint full and up on the bar. “He’s been Aaron’s salvation these last few weeks. Even I have to admit that.”

“I think he’s really changed, or trying to,” Adam said with a shrug.

Chas nodded; she didn’t want to agree but the proof was in the things she’d seen Robert do these last weeks. Yes, there was the blip with paying Ryan to testify against Gordon – but she was culpable in that, too, she had to begrudgingly admit – even if she only ever admitted it to herself.

The third pint ready, Chas set it on the bar and smiled as Adam thanked her and took them back to where Robert and Aaron were now chatting with Pearl.

Since Chas had last looked, Robert had draped his arm across the back of the padded bench that spanned the back wall, and Aaron appeared to be nestled into the vacant space under Robert's arm. They were definitely getting cozier, the longer they sat, Chas observed with a small smile.

Pearl soon left, and the three boys – or men, rather – were left to laugh with each other. It was an odd sight, Adam and Aaron and Robert.

The pub slowly began to empty as the hour grew later. Yet, Robert and Aaron remained where they were. Even after Adam left, and the remaining well-wishers paid up and departed, Robert remained where he was, his arm still across the back of the bench. He and Aaron were laughing about something, and Chas noticed Robert lightly fingering the shoulder of Aaron’s shirt as they spoke only to each other.

She’d had the very briefest of glimpses into the romantic world of her son. She had been privy to a very few moments between he and Jackson, had seen a bit more of Ed on her visits to France (before they’d split), but she’d never really seen Aaron and Robert like this. There had been that one moment, when she and Robert had found Aaron in the woods with a broken ankle, but even that wasn’t like this. The comfort and ease with which Aaron was with Robert – and more shockingly, the way Robert was with Aaron. He was completely uncaring about anyone, or anything else. Chas believed him now, believed what he had said all those weeks ago when he’d insisted she didn’t understand what he meant to him.

That he was everything.

Well…she was really seeing it now.

* * *

 

Several hours later, creaking floorboards in the hall stirred Chas from sleep. She sat up, listening to the unfamiliar footsteps that padded towards the toilet. Smiling into the dark of her room, she threw back the covers and tiptoed to her door, pulling it open just a tiny bit. She was directly opposite Aaron’s room, and through the crack she could see into his bedroom – and she could see her son curled up, asleep…which only meant one thing…

She stepped back into the shadows of her room as the door to the toilet creaked. She saw the pale-skinned Robert, wearing some of Aaron’s pyjama's no less, cross the threshold into Aaron’s room and then her view was cut off as he gently closed the door.

Chas gave a soft laugh into the quiet of her bedroom before she eased her own door silently closed again.

She found herself feeling happy for Aaron…and surprisingly, happy for Robert, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have my own theory that though Robert stayed the night, he and Aaron didn't do anything other than sleep - and maybe cuddle a bit. Maybe. Others likely have a different opinion. But what struck me about the episode on the 18th was the total change in Chas's demeanor when Robert appeared in the morning - and then again later when Aaron had to deny him the weekend away he'd bought. Her attitude might very well change again, but I'm enjoying this current version of Chas supporting the guys - regardless. So, I felt like I needed to give voice to Chas this go round. Hope it works! I also excluded Vic here purposefully - because I'm really, really hoping the show will give us a beautiful scene with her and Robert (and I hope Aaron too) so she can give all her love and approval to them on-screen...so here's hoping! 
> 
> I typically don't write and post on the same day, without several read-through's and edits...so forgive me typos that were likely missed in the rush of excitement of writing and posting.


	3. Happy 30th Birthday Robert Sugden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron surprises Robert on the occasion of his 30th Birthday.
> 
> Not so much a gap-filler; more a need for some romance and Rob appreciation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may or may not really fit as a "gap-filler" - that will be determined when Aaron and Robert reappear on screen in May (May! To far away! Maybe sooner? Who knows...). In the meantime, I thought it only fair Rob got some for his birthday....oops! I might have revealed the ending. In any case - enjoy!

He expected it to be just another day. So much had happened the last few months that he really wouldn't have been surprised if the day passed without mention of it. But he should have known to expect more from Victoria.

"Happy Birthday, Rob!" she exclaimed the moment Robert appeared that morning.

She had prepared him a full slap up breakfast - and insisted upon serving him, too.

"It's not everyday one turns thirty," she had said, and Robert had rolled his eyes in disgruntled agreement.

Aaron had gone with Adam very early that morning to York for some scrapyard business - or so he'd said. He had been a bit dodgy about the details the night before when he'd indicated Rob should go back to Adam and Vic's for the night. Robert didn't know what Aaron might be up to - but he was pretty certain it had nothing to do with scrap.  _Probably to do with Liv,_ he'd thought with some trepidation. 

Aaron's little sister was a right pain - like every other 14-year old he'd ever known, his own sister included. He could still vividly recall how obnoxious Lachlan had been when he and Chrissie had first met...he'd done nearly all he could to drive a wedge between them. Didn't matter now of course, but Robert really didn't want to deal with that again. He loved Aaron, and he loved that Aaron loved his sister so much. Hell, Robert could even see himself, someday, caring for her too. If she ever stopped shooting him nasty looks, or giving him attitude. He liked the new purpose Aaron seemed to feel, taking care of her. Robert just hoped it wasn't too much, too soon.

Victoria surprised Rob with a present when he was done eating, and he felt a flush creep up his cheeks when he opened it finding a framed photo of he and Aaron from a few days earlier. It looked to be from the night of the verdict. Rob had his arm draped across the back of the long bench at The Woolpack, his head turned he appeared to be saying something into Aaron's ear. Aaron had a smile on his face, and his head was turned slightly towards Robert. It was the first time Robert had seen what he and Aaron might look like to others. It was shocking, and touching, and startling, but all in a good way. In an amazing way, really.

Kissing his sister on the forehead, he thanked her profusely. She just grinned at him, and Robert had to laugh.

"I knew you's would end up together," she added, handing Robert an envelope that had more photos from that night in it. 

"You're the only one," Robert replied, thumbing through the photos quickly, smiling at the memory of that night and aching at that exact moment for Aaron.

Vic lightly punched his arm before leaving the room to get ready for her day.

Robert sighed into the empty room, wondering what he would do for the day since Aaron was gone, when his mobile beeped.

"Back early. Meet at scrapyard," Robert mumbled the words from the text from Aaron.

"Back early indeed," Robert said to the empty room. It wasn't even 11 am yet.

Twenty minutes later Robert was pulling into the scrapyard. He saw Aaron's VW parked to the side and he pulled up next to it. Moments later, Adam came bounding out of the portacabin, waving and shouting hello as he darted past Robert, who was climbing slowly from his car. He watched as Adam disappeared down the short lane leading to the scrapyard, before turning to see Aaron leaning casually in the doorway of the portacabin.

"Alright?" Robert sauntered towards Aaron, taking the sight of him in. He looked positively gorgeous leaning there, sans coat, holding what Robert assumed was a brew in hand.

"Want one?" Aaron straightened and held his mug up.

Robert nodded and followed the other man inside, taming the wild thoughts that had crept into his head regarding Aaron and the things he wished he could do to him.

"How was your meeting?" Robert asked, standing inside the door and watching Aaron dump a tea bag into a mug and pour water from the kettle. Steam rose from the mug as Aaron added a splash of milk and then handed the mug over.

"Yeah, good," he quipped, smiling as he sipped his own tea.

"Feel free to elaborate," Robert smirked back, growing curiously suspicious of Aaron's odd behavior, "I am an investor in this business after all."

Aaron barked a small laugh, taking Robert a bit by surprise.

"Yeah, I know," he leaned against the back wall, "you never stop reminding me."

Robert responded with a smile, moving further into the portacabin and sitting at the desk closest to where Aaron stood. 

They were both quiet for a bit, looking at each other - Aaron with apparent glee, while Robert continued to grow more confused with regards to Aaron's peculiar behavior.

"Right," Aaron said suddenly, a few minutes later, "you ready to go?"

"Go?" Robert questioned as Aaron moved forward and took his mug, setting it beside the one he had been using and not bothering to dump the contents or rinse them...Robert couldn't help but wonder who would be the one to find them and have to clean them.

"Yeah," Aaron replied innocently, "go."

"Okay," Robert replied slowly, standing to follow Aaron out of the portacabin.

After a brief discussion during which Robert expressed concern with leaving his car unattended at the scrapyard, they were on their way, headed towards Leeds, in Aaron's car.

Aaron had the radio turned up and was humming along, casting mischievous glances at Robert, who was watching this man he thought he knew behave in ways he'd never experienced before. It lifted his spirits to see Aaron so free and happy - and it lifted his spirits to think it was because he was happy to be spending time with Robert. He considered asking after Liv - but determined Aaron had made arrangements, and also thought it best to leave the girl out of their time together.

They made small talk, about the weather, and the traffic, and the music on the radio, but every time Robert asked where they were headed Aaron just shrugged and turned up the volume of the radio until it was so loud they could no longer speak without yelling. Robert considered turning the volume down, but a part of him was enjoying the mystery, and he found it incredibly amusing the way Aaron was acting. He wanted to keep the mood up for as long as was possible. After all, he had told Aaron after the verdict that he deserved to be happy, and Robert wasn't about to be the one to diminish any of Aaron's current happiness.

Some time later, Aaron finally turned down the volume of the music and said in a sing-song voice, "We're here."

Robert was about to ask where, when he saw where Aaron was steering the car.

"Wha-?" Robert leaned forward, looking up at the grand hotel they were steadily approaching. 

Aaron just shrugged and pulled through to the valet. Robert just stared, totally gobsmacked at the series of events taking place. It would seem, perhaps, that Aaron had remembered his birthday after all.

Ten minutes later, they were standing side by side in a gorgeous suite that likely had cost Aaron a small fortune. 

"Aaron -," Robert turned, ready to declare the night out totally unnecessary, when the other man shook his head and stopped Robert's words with a kiss. 

Robert, typically the one to take the initiative when they were alone, was at the whim of Aaron as the other man guided him gently towards the bed, stripping him of his jacket and working on the buttons of his shirt all while laying kisses on his mouth, along his jawline, down his neck. Robert let him take the lead, his hands pulling at Aaron's shirt - lifting it up and over the other man's head before finding their way to his belt, the jangling of buckles clashing filling the room as they both hurried to undress the other. 

As much as he tried  not to stare, this was also the first time since Aaron had been hospitalized that Robert had seen the state of Aaron's chest. The cuts there hadn't been as deep as the one on his arm, or some of the older scars on his belly. As such they were paler in color, tiny white marks really, not angry and pink like the one on Aaron's arm, or even the softer, milder pink of the years-old scars on his belly. Robert leaned his head down and laid kisses across Aaron's chest - mindful of the change in breathing and the slight stiffening posture of the other man.

"s'okay," Robert mumbled, pulling Aaron to him and kissing his lips. Their naked bodies were pressed together and Robert could feel Aaron's heart beating in time with his own. 

"Happy. Birthday. Robert," Aaron panted as they finally fell onto the bed, Aaron laying on top of Robert and punctuating each word with a kiss to his neck, a nibble on his ear, a deep kiss on the mouth.

 _Happy Birthday to me,_ Robert thought as he let himself drift away on waves of pleasure and bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should say here, that I really only follow Aaron and Robert via youtube clips (May 22 2016 EDIT: THIS IS NO LONGER TRUE! Am watching the entire show now!). Sometimes I'll see an entire episode but if characters are not involved in Aaron or Robert's story I tend to not know what's going on with them. I know Adam was at the trial, and the verdict, so I assumed Victoria was still around the village too but I realized as I wrote this that maybe she's not? So I'll add to my usual disclaimer about British slang/terminology that I might have a misstep here or there regarding other characters. 
> 
> I also would like to think what Aaron does here is totally within his character. He really is a soft-hearted man, and I think capable of romantic gestures on this level...so why not for Robert's birthday!?!??!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between episode May 9 and episode May 10 2016.

The low drone of the television downstairs was barely audible...yet also just loud enough to grate on Aaron's already frayed nerves. He'd just spent the last few hours with Liv; getting her from school, appealing to her teachers to give her another chance, driving home and trying desperately not to lecture. For her part, Liv had sat in stone-faced silence, avoiding Aaron's glances, ear buds in and some sort of techno rock thumping away. It wasn't until they were back at the pub that she even looked at Aaron, and then it was just to ask what was for tea.

Chas had laughed at Aaron's frustration and he knew it was no less than he deserved. He'd put his mother through some real hell in his youth and this was only karma coming to pay him back. 

They'd had their tea in silence as well. Chas had tried to make conversation, but Liv would only grunt mono-syllabic responses, and Aaron couldn't even do that much and he found himself glaring at Liv, and shooting his mother looks each time she tried to start up a conversation. He was certain his little sister was going to give him an ulcer - or a stress-related heart attack. 

Liv, after eating, had flopped onto the sofa and turned on the television - leaving Chas and Aaron to clean up. His mum threw him some meaningful looks, but Aaron ignored them as he quickly tidied up and then retreated to his bedroom. He needed a break, a moment to recoup and recover and gather his senses. He needed the one person who always had been able to calm him...

Dropping onto his bed, Aaron picked up his phone and started frantically typing. 

_She's doing me head in!_

Aaron stared at his phone, willing Robert to respond...

_What happened?_  

Aaron felt something of a gentle calm come over him as the text appeared on his mobile screen.

_I don't even know for sure, she won't say. Based on what her teachers said, apparently everyone and everything is against her._

Aaron tapped his fingers on the back of his phone, staring at the screen and waiting for Robert's reply.

_Take a deep breath._

Aaron smiled and did, just as another message from Robert appeared.

_Want me to come over?_

YES! Aaron thought to himself before emitting a frustrated groan, the slight calm he'd started to feel beginning to slip away.

_No. I gotta go talk to her. Or try to talk to her._

Aaron begrudgingly sent the text, and though likely only a few seconds, it felt like hours before Robert finally replied.

_K. Text me later. Good luck._

Aaron tossed his phone to the foot of his bed and raked his hands over his face. He wanted nothing more than Robert there with him. A warm body to curl up against; the only person in Aaron's life that could distract him and make him feel something other than anxious and lost. He was certain this behavior of Liv's was probably related to Gordan's sentencing and his adamant refusal to go, or let her go. But Aaron was sure it was the right decision. She didn't need to see him again - and he certainly didn't want or need to see him again; in fact he would be perfectly happy to never have another thought about him ever again.  Aaron's stomach churned at the thought of sitting in the sentencing, and for a brief moment he thought he might throw up - but the feeling passed.

Another reason Aaron wanted - NEEDED - Robert. Through all the hell of the last few months the only real constant in his life had been Robert, and Aaron felt a sort of security in his presence. It was a right daft idea that Robert was who (and what) Aaron needed - the way things between them had devolved and degraded the previous year. But Robert was different now - Aaron had seen it himself. Aaron felt different, too. Neither of them were the same people they'd been the year before. And Aaron didn't want to live in the past any longer - not his childhood past, nor the sordid and painful past with Robert. He wanted to move forward - if only he could get a handle on how to deal with his sister!

Aaron's phone, resting screen up near his feet, lit up with another text message.

Sitting up, Aaron grabbed it...

_I love you; I miss you. You're a good brother._

Aaron's chest constricted painfully and he very nearly rang Robert right then to tell him to come over. Instead he made a mental note to sometime very soon remind Robert just how he felt about him. He hadn't said the words again...not since the one and only time he had said them. He thought maybe it was time... Time to tell Robert just what he meant to Aaron, and what he'd done for Aaron. 

"I love you," Aaron whispered to his empty room, staring at the text message with a goofy smile on his face. Then, with another deep sigh, he stood up from his bed and headed back downstairs to see if he could talk any sense into Liv. He guessed there wouldn't be much progress.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, and sweet. We'll see how this fits in with what happens the rest of this week. Fingers crossed it does fit in/make sense...I'm hopeful we get to hear Aaron say those words again soon! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between May 12 and May 13 2016 episodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened after Cain, Chas and Aaron all voiced their various suspicions that Robert may have had Gordon killed.
> 
> Alternating point of view.

**~~ AARON ~~**

_I try my best for you, Aaron!_

Robert's words echoed in Aaron's head, Robert's tone accusing, and hurt, and plain frustrated. It was obvious, and Aaron had wanted to turn around and confront him again but he had been worried what more he might say. He was worried he'd have said something he couldn't have taken back - and so he'd walked away with Robert's voice behind him. Speaking hard truths that Aaron recognized, but couldn't do anything about until he had calmed down himself.

Robert had been so angry and that in turn had made Aaron angrier...and he was still so angry even hours later - but Aaron's anger was very slowly beginning to fade. It was slowly being replaced by a sliver of doubt, some genuine disappointment in Robert and in himself, and a seed of curiosity at the state of his life and how he'd arrived there.

He wasn't sure he really believed Robert would have had Gordon killed - but he was certain it was something Robert could do, easily, which was nearly as frightening a thought then if he knew for certain Robert had done it. 

Aaron loved that Robert tried; he loved that the man Robert was now seemed so different, better in many ways, than the man he'd been a year ago. But Aaron wished too that Robert didn't have to _try._ He wished Robert simply  _was_ his best. He knew it was a lot - given their history and the things Robert had gone through - to expect Robert to suddenly be different; and it wasn't that Aaron even wanted Robert to be different - he fell in love with him for a reason, even when he was at his worst. Aaron just wanted the other man to stop with the lies, and the deceptions, and the manipulations - even if he might think it was for the best. 

And it wasn't that Aaron didn't realize or appreciate the changes that had occurred in Robert, because he did. But when he made a bad decision it always seemed to be a massive one, like thinking he knew what was best for Aaron.

The fact Robert thought he could make decisions for Aaron; the fact that Aaron was even doubting Robert at all - that's what hurt more than anything else. Because if it were true, if Robert had been responsible for what happened to Gordon - what would that mean for them? 

Aaron sighed and tossed in his bed, angry and confused yet still missing the other man who had been beside him more nights then not since the verdict had been read. The space beside him seemed vast and empty without Robert's gangling limbs bumped up and draped over Aaron. The bed was cold and uncomfortable without Robert's warmth radiating and enveloping Aaron beneath the covers.

Eliciting another loud sigh, Aaron stared into the shapeless darkness of his bedroom. 

He didn't want to be angry with Robert; it was a relief not to be angry with him and that's why this was so hard. It hurt that Robert was still doing things and making decisions for him when Aaron had told the other man, so many times it seemed, how much he hated being treated that way. And yes, Aaron might have stated how he never wanted to hear Gordon's name again - but that didn't give Robert the right to deny him the choice to read the letter. 

Now his father was dead. Liv was in turmoil, Aaron didn't have the closure he was beginning to realize he might need and now he would never get. There was no opportunity anymore, no chance for an admittance of guilt. It's true Gordon might have never admitted guilt or apologized for the torment he'd inflicted on Aaron...but knowing that now it could NEVER happen just rubbed salt into an already painful wound.

So had Robert had Gordon killed? He'd said the letter had been full of suicidal thoughts...was that even true? His reaction to his mum and Cain had been in the heat of the moment. But he really didn't think it...did he?

Aaron kicked the covers off and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed and relishing the feel of the cold, hard-wood floor under his bare feet. 

He didn't know what to think anymore and he wished for nothing more than to just be able to close his eyes for a moment and not have these thoughts in his head.   

**~~ ROBERT ~~**

Robert thought back to the day he'd burned the letter..the day he'd overheard Aaron and Liv talking. The day Aaron told him he never wanted to hear Gordon's name again. He wished desperately he could go back, arrive a few moments later outside that backroom so as not to hear them at all, so he could do what Adam had urged him to do from the start which was give the letter to Aaron.

Robert laid his head back against the cushions of the sofa and fisted his hands into his hair, pulling at it in frustration. Who knows what might have happened after that. Maybe something better - perhaps something a whole lot worse. But it was useless to think that way because there was no going back. The letter was gone, Aaron was deeply hurt and angry and Robert couldn't feel more any more rubbish about how he'd handled the whole thing. 

He loved Aaron and the very last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt him in any way. Yet that's all he seemed to do; he couldn't seem to go more than a week without stepping in it with his actions or his words. And when Aaron hurt, it hurt Robert. 

Maybe they'd moved too fast - or too soon. But Robert had been unable to stop himself that day he'd kissed Aaron. He missed him so much it made his entire body ache; even now he wished he were there at the pub in Aaron's bed with his arms and legs wrapped around the other man offering him support with his silence and giving him comfort with his touch. But he understood why that wasn't the case. He'd made a major error, not the first one but certainly the biggest one. He couldn't have known what was going to happen - but he realized now that by taking Aaron's choice to read the letter from him, he'd broken the small bit of trust that had started to build. That more than anything else was the hardest part of it all to accept. Robert wanted Aaron to know he could rely on him, that he had Aaron's best interests at heart and that he was worthy of trust - but he'd proved himself the opposite by hiding the letter, and burning it. It was only going to be harder to make up that lost ground; but Robert was determined he would make it up. He would do anything and everything he had to, to prove to Aaron he wasn't misguided in putting his trust and his faith in Robert. 

He had to make Aaron see because the simple fact was the thought of being without Aaron was terrifying. For the last five months Robert's entire focus had been on Aaron and his well-being. The idea of not being near him, or privy to his needs and wants and desires, the mere thought of being separated from him scared Robert deeply. Sure, he could bury himself in work for awhile as a serviceable distraction (he certainly had enough to do with Home James, and the scrapyard) but that wasn't enough. He couldn't work each day in such close proximity to Aaron and not be involved in his life. He truly thought that would drive him mad.

Robert simply didn't want to be apart from Aaron, not in any way. He needed to be near him, he needed to be able to talk to him. He needed to be able to see that he was okay. And if they had to just be friends - well - Robert would make it work, as hard as he knew it would be.

But first he had to try and make it right; he would simply have to go over to the Woolpack tomorrow and make amends; if Aaron would let him. After that, who knew... 

"No sense in assuming the worst," Robert mumbling, dropping his hands to his lap.

**~~ AARON ~~**

He had finally drifted off near 2 a.m., but was peppered with dreams and images of Gordon and all the manipulative lies he'd spewed since coming back into Aaron's life. When he finally decided to abandon getting any proper rest and get up, he immediately put on his running gear and headed out towards the woods. He needed to clear his head and work out the nasty, vitriolic, putrid feelings left over from his dreams. 

Though his mum had shot him a concerned look as he'd left the pub, she didn't say anything and for that Aaron was grateful. He knew she was worried for him - and he knew he was using running as a form of therapy but it wasn't like before. At least it didn't feel like it to Aaron. He was also certain should things begin to spiral out of control again that his mum would definitely say something to him. 

Earbuds in and music blasting, Aaron took off out of the village and immediately began to feel better. The muscles in his legs loosened and warmed and slowly started to ache (in a good way) as Aaron ran. He went harder, faster, up and down hills until he was panting and on the verge of throwing up. But he felt himself again. The heart-break had eased, the fog in his head had lifted. 

Aaron paused at the crest of a wooded hill and let the sunshine of the bright morning wash over him - it was a pleasant day for a funeral. Edna deserved that. Aaron turned off his music and smiled up at the blue sky - eyes closed, drinking in the stillness surrounding him. There was peace out here, and he felt a calmness come over him that further eased his frayed nerves and building anxiety. He began to see clearly how things were and how things could be. He began to see maybe he could move forward from this letter mess, and from Gordon. He could see Robert's good intentions; he could see Liv, chilling out and finding her own happiness in life; he could see he and Robert, making things work - with a concerted effort on both their parts. It all seemed so clear and possible up on that hillside...

With one last deep breath, Aaron turned and headed back the way he'd come - feeling like a new man ready to put this latest mess behind him. The problem was he hadn't really solved any of his problems on the top of that hill - he'd simply left them behind in the village and so as soon as the cluster of buildings came into view the fog descended again, and the heart-break returned, and the clarity and sense of calm he'd been feeling disappeared as if it had never even been.

**~~ ROBERT ~~**

There was no answer at the pub...again. Robert threw his phone to the sofa cushions and cursed under his breath. He could hear Adam and Vic moving around above him and he sighed. It was Edna's funeral and everyone was going and while the last place Robert wanted to ambush Aaron was at a funeral, he needed to see him and talk to him. Desperately.

Some time later Robert sent a text to Aaron, the fifth or sixth by his count. He would go over there uninvited (and likely unwelcome) if he had too - just to make sure Aaron heard him out. But he'd rather be invited - even if it meant the end of it all. Robert could only hope that in the last twelve or so hours Aaron had calmed and considered Robert's perspective, as Robert had considered Aaron's. He didn't expect Aaron to forgive him immediately - but he hoped Aaron would at least give him another chance to prove he was worth the effort, and worth the time, and worth the love.

There was no answer from Aaron to the text so Robert watched from the front garden of Adam and Vic's. He kept an eye on the Woolpack and waited for Chas and Aaron to join the parade of villagers headed towards the church. But when the bells started ringing and the hearse passed slowly by and neither Aaron nor Chas had emerged from the pub Robert became worried. He paced the garden for a few more minutes - until the bells at the church fell silent. Taking the initiative he headed to the pub - even if just to make sure there was not something seriously wrong that was preventing Aaron from attending Edna's service.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Covers the time between Robert and Aaron appearances from episodes from May 17th and May 27th 2016.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were, like me, thrown a bit off balance by the vast difference in tone between Robert and Aaron from the last time we saw them (May 17 2016) to Friday's (May 27) episode, then I hope this helps. Personally, I needed some character action(s) to explain the tonal shift - it was too jarring otherwise.
> 
> I'm not sure if there's meant to be 10 days time (in-show) between the aforementioned episodes, but for my own sanity I've not written it as 10 days time; rather, just a few days. It makes more sense to me that way.

Robert stared at his hands for awhile longer, Aaron's proclamation of _'nothing'_ echoing in his ears even as his head swam with a multitude of very valid and arguable reasons why Aaron should take the money he'd been left. But he bit his tongue.

"Are you really sure you want to give it up?" Robert finally asked, his voice soft and his tone cautious. There seemed to be some sort of odd truce happening and Robert didn't want to risk another row. He really didn't care about the money; what he cared about was Aaron, and that Aaron was being honest with himself and with his reasons for not taking the money. It could do him so much good - or it could do someone else so much good...

"I'm sure," Aaron said, and Robert could hear anger simmering beneath the clipped statement.

"So stop going on about it," he added, stabbing with his fork at a piece of lettuce on his plate. Cheering emanated from the television as something crowd-pleasing happened on the game show. 

Robert lifted his eyes briefly to the tele before turning his head to look at Aaron. Aaron's expression was hardened and the muscles in his cheeks pulsed as he clenched his jaw. Robert sighed inwardly.

"Fine," he acquiesced, standing and taking note of the very slight widening of Aaron's eyes in apparent surprise.

"I just hope you don't regret this one day," Robert said with concern, hopeful Aaron knew that he was only interested in his well-being.

With a nod and a slight upturn of his lips (it could barely be called even a half-smile, and it was all he could muster at the moment), Robert turned and left the pub through the front, ignoring the impulse to turn around when he heard Aaron call out after him.

* * *

The following day found Robert and Aaron working together...or rather working in proximity. Aaron was out working in the scrapyard while Robert sat in the portacabin and poured over the Home James books and business documents.

They spent the morning that way - Aaron outside in the yard and Robert inside the portacabin; and when Aaron came in for a break, offering to make Robert a brew, there was an awkward silence that settled between them. Robert fought his instinct to talk, to try and explain himself, and instead remained quiet. He kept his head down and watched Aaron through his lashes as the other man sat at the other desk and stared at the mug in his hands.

"So - uh - how late you workin'?" Aaron finally asked, breaking the silence.

Robert raised his head and shrugged. Aaron was still staring at his hands around his mug. Robert noticed his fingernails were black with dirt and grease and grime and he couldn't help but crack a small smile.

"Not sure. Why?"

Aaron looked up then and arched a brow at Robert, a bemused expression taking hold on his face, "What're you smiling at?"

Robert smiled wider, shaking his head as he recalled the day in the Woolpack where he called Aaron a dirty little grease monkey and accused him of lusting after Chrissie, "Nothing. Doesn't matter."

Aaron's bemused expression transformed into the annoyed scowl that used to drive Robert mad when they were first hooking up. It was one of the things Robert loved most about Aaron - his expressive nature. 

"Well - did you want to come for tea?" Aaron finally asked, his expression clearing of the scowl and his eyes widening. Robert recognized the hopeful look and his heart sank a bit.

"I can't. I have a business meeting in Leeds," Robert said, "I can't cancel. Nicola has already put this meeting off twice and we'll lose the contact if I do it again."

"Yeah, whatever," Aaron nodded, his gaze dropping and his expression darkening, "it's not a big deal."

"Aaron -," Robert started, a little nervous at the dismissive nature of Aaron's response.

"Forget it, I should get back out. I have a deadline to meet, too," Aaron quickly interrupted Robert, standing and leaving the portacabin without another glance in Robert's direction.

* * *

 

**FROM AARON:**

_HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?_

**FROM ROBERT:**

_GOOD, TA._

_ARE YOU BACK YET?_

_JUST ARRIVED ACTUALLY._

_CAN WE MEET UP?_

_WHERE?_

_OUTSIDE. BACK OF WOOLPACK. 15 MIN?_

_YEAH. SEE YA SOON._

 

Robert pocked his phone. He was still in his car having literally just gotten back from the meeting in Leeds. He wasn't nervous about Aaron's texts, but there was an ominousness about them that gave him a slight niggle.

Fifteen minutes later Robert was perched on the table outside the back of the Woolie; he could hear the chatter of the late-night crowd inside. Moments later the door to the living area opened up and Aaron emerged. 

He joined Robert at the table, sitting beside him.

"Liv is watching some awful program inside," Aaron said and Robert nodded.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday," Aaron turned to face Robert, his knees pressing against Roberts thighs, "and the day before that."

"I know it was Charity who brought it up, and I'm sorry I chucked you out," he added.

"What's brought this on?" Robert asked, truly surprised, and pleased.

"Mum said some stuff," Aaron replied begrudgingly it sounded, as he motioned with his hand towards to the Woolie, "and going to see...well...going to see the body didn't really give me the closure I thought it would."

"I'm sorry-," Robert started but when Aaron grasped his arm he stopped.

"It's not your fault. It's just -," Aaron paused and sighed, "it's just the way it is."

"I just want this all to be over," Aaron went on, his hand still gripping Robert's forearm, "I thought it was over after the verdict, but then came the sentencing. I thought that was the end, but then there was the letter - and I'm not having a go," Aaron added, "and then the bastard kills himself and leaves me and Liv with a small fortune each. Maybe after the funeral it'll finally be done. There can't be any more surprises after that, can there?"

Robert shook his head and shrugged.

"I know you want what's best for me, but I can't take his money. I just can't," Aaron said and Robert nodded.

"I know, and I wasn't trying to make you do something you didn't want to," Robert placed his free hand on top of Aaron's hand, still on his arm, "I just don't want you to regret this someday. But I won't say another word about it. I promise."

Aaron nodded, his hand releasing it grip on Robert's arm and turning to take hold of Robert's hand. 

Aaron moved closer then, and Robert moved to meet him halfway and they kissed - softly, apologetically, tenderly. 

"Want to come in?" Aaron asked quietly when they broke apart.

"Not tonight," Robert smiled, reaching out to grasp Aaron's hoodie and pull him close when he started to move back, "but maybe after everything settles we can finally take that Barcelona holiday I booked and then postponed?"

"We can talk Chas into watching over Liv for a long weekend?" Robert added as Aaron smiled.

"Yeah," he agreed, as their lips met once again.

* * *

Robert stared at the papers spread across the small table feeling a surprising mix of emotions. 

It was over; his marriage to Chrissie. He was truly and officially divorced. 

He felt some loss over that realization - but it was more like a loss that had resulted in a rebirth. He had thought he'd been happy with Chrissie. He had thought he'd loved her. And perhaps he had loved her - but he knew now that what he'd felt for her was nothing compared to the feelings that stirred in him when he even thought of Aaron, let alone when he was near him, or touching him, or kissing him...

Chrissie had been safe and comfortable, but Aaron was HOME. Even with all the twists and turns and detours of the rocky road they'd been traveling since the moment their paths had crossed, Aaron was still the place Robert wanted to be at the end of each day.

That was why the current awkwardness was so hard to deal with. Aaron had lashed out - a reaction from seeing Gordon's body - and Robert understood that and accepted it...but things hadn't quite normalized just yet either. There was still something unresolved between them. Some kind of tension Robert couldn't quite put his finger on. He wasn't even sure where it was originating from - he, or Aaron. 

Sighing heavily, Robert stood from the table in Adam and Vic's and folded the papers before stuffing them back into the envelope. He supposed it really didn't matter. What mattered was moving on. The chapter of his life that had been Home Farm, and Lawrence, and Chrissie and Lachlan, was done. The last sentence written, the page turned. 

Aaron was his future - and now was as good a time as any to make sure that future was headed in a forward direction. No more back-tracking into old habits; no more side trips and detours around the difficult conversations he and Aaron needed to have. It was time for proper steps forward.

Robert slid the envelope into his jacket pocket and headed out to his car, his next stop the scrap yard.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron decides to go away for a few days with Robert and Liv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between episodes June 3 and June 6 2016.

"Wales?" Robert asked, his tone curious.

"Wales," Aaron confirmed, pulling his duffel bag from beneath his bed and placing it beside Robert, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Why Wales?"

"Dunno," Aaron replied with a shrug. 

"Tomorrow," Robert said, his eyes following Aaron's every move as he pulled out a few shirts from his chest of drawers.

"Yeah, tomorrow. You can get away for a few days, can't ya?" Aaron paused to look at Robert with obvious concern.

"Yeah, yeah," Robert shook his head. He wasn't worried. Nicola and Jimmy could handle Home James - and the scrap yard would be fine if closed for few days, assuming Adam couldn't cover the whole time. 

"Have you ever been to Wales?" Robert asked, curious. They'd never really talked about this before...aside from knowing Aaron lived in France for awhile, and went to Ireland earlier in the year, Robert really didn't know how well traveled Aaron was.

"No," Aaron answered, glancing over his shoulder at Robert.

Robert smiled and shook his head.

"What?" Aaron turned to face Robert, his expression transitioning towards an annoyed scowl.

"It's nothing," Robert said, "it'll be great."

Aaron nodded, stuffing more clothes into his bag.

"Cardiff is fun. It's a nice city. A few years back I visited the water tower where they filmed some of Doctor Who. And Torchwood-," Robert rambled, stopping when he noticed Aaron's expression - a mixture of utter amusement and abject horror.

"You don't say," Aaron finally said, grinning widely as the horror in his reaction faded (much to Robert's relief).

"Yeah, well," Robert tried to shrug it off, "I was a big fan when they rebooted Who in two thousand five."

"I'm sure it's nothing to do with John Barrowman," Aaron teased.

Robert gawped at Aaron - his mind racing as he tried to figure out how they were actually having a discussion about Doctor Who, and John Barrowman...

"Now who's revealing themselves!" Robert exclaimed, cracking a wide grin and laughing. "The fact you even know who John Barrowman is..."

Aaron's scowl returned (along with a slight flush of red to his cheeks) and Robert laughed again.

"I never would have guessed it," Robert, still sitting on the bed, crossed his arms and grinned widely, a swell of love and adoration rising in his chest and it was all he could do not to just blurt out the three words...the three words he wanted to say to Aaron every moment of every day...the three words that Aaron had yet to say back.

"Well, I'm not blind," Aaron mumbled before breaking into a sheepish smile.

Robert laughed again, before falling into a pensive silence as he watched Aaron collect a few more items and stow them in his bag.

"Guess I should go pack," he said, suddenly standing and feeling a buzzing excitement in his gut; time alone with Aaron - away from the Village - it was almost too much to handle.

"Are you okay with this?" Aaron asked, so genuine in his concern that he looked like the happy, hopeful child Robert had seen in photos.

"Why wouldn't I be?" 

"Well-," Aaron paused, "Liv?"

"Yes," Robert moved close to Aaron, so they were standing toe to toe, "I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Just in case. And Liv will be great too. Maybe we can bond over...I dunno...Taylor Swift."

That elicited a smile from Aaron - which was all Robert wanted to see. But just as quickly Aaron dropped his gaze and shuffled his feet. Robert knew what that meant; he could read him so easily - Aaron was scared.

"I think it'll be fine. You know, all that stuff with Ryan. It'll work out. So let's just enjoy this break - and give Liv the time of her life," Robert said gently, reaching out and taking Aaron's hand in his, Robert's thumb stroking the back of Aaron's scarred and calloused hand.

The other man raised his piercing blue eyes then, and Robert's breath caught in his chest. He would never get used to the bright, shining blue of Aaron's eyes.

With his free hand, Aaron reached out and grasped the back of Robert's neck, pulling him in for a kiss that when they finally parted, left both men gasping for air and a lot more worked up then they'd been before.

"Don't worry," Aaron breathed, his face inches from Robert's, "I've booked Liv her own hotel room."

Robert grinned before releasing Aaron's hand and wrapping his arms around his torso, kissing him again.

When lips eventually parted, Robert pulled Aaron to him, enveloping him in his arms and holding onto him as tight as he dared while tucking his head into the crook of Aaron's neck.

"It'll be worth the wait," he whispered - relishing the feel of Aaron's arms around him and the strength with which the other man held onto him, his fists grasping at Robert's shirt, pulling at it as if needing to get even closer to him. 

They stood like that for some time - neither wanting to let go of the other, bodies melded together like puzzle pieces. No space left between them.

Then the bounding footfalls of a certain younger sister sounded up the stairwell and so Robert reluctantly let go, stepping back just as Liv - flushed cheeks, ponytail, and whisps of flyaway hair and all - appeared outside the door of Aaron's room.

"Got your text. What'd'ya want to talk to me about?" She asked, casting an amused glance at the two of them before taking a couple steps into the room.

"I'll go," Robert said to Aaron as he slipped past Liv to the hall. Once behind the her, he looked back at Aaron and smiled widely, winking. He was bursting with anticipation and could not wait to get that man alone in a hotel room.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not British so please forgive me any grammatical errors or misuse/lack of use of slang or other terminology! Please feel free to inform me of any corrections or improvements I can make in that regard for the future. I try but certainly don't get it 100%.


End file.
